CC had posted a piece on a site I visit regularly, and her writing displayed a casualness and sense of humor that I find appealing and I replied to tell her so. Apparently she found my message interesting enough to deserve a response and so our e-correspondence became a way for us to get to know a little bit about one another. One of the things she told me about herself was that she has been has been told that she has an infectious laugh. I, totally crass and uncouth lout that I am, replied by asking if that was the only thing infectious about her.
CC's response to that little bit of silliness, which I intended as nothing more than a throw away wise-guy remark, floored me. She would have been totally justified in calling me a complete ass, or in not replying at all, but CC chose a different approach - she answered my totally inappropriate question with a serious reply and shared with me a quite personal detail that was, quite frankly, none of my damned business but she apparently felt it's an important part of who she is, so she told me about it.
My reaction to her candor was, "well, damn, if we're really going to be honest with one another I'd better tell her my deep, dark secret (well, one of them anyway), too, and so I did. And so when we eventually met in person there was an uncommon easiness to our first conversation because we had gotten some of the ugly stuff out of the way beforehand and could easily move beyond it. Maybe there is some truth to this "honesty is the best policy" thing.
CC and I got together one or two more times and I certainly enjoyed her company, but then we were out of touch for quite a while, until recently she foolishly responded to something silly I had posted and started the conversation up again. And so we decided to meet again and catch up, which we did and I had a wonderful time; I think she enjoyed it, too. But I think I made a mistake that may have proved fatal to our burgeoning friendship - I mentioned my writings here, specifically this post which was nothing more than a working title at the time.
Shortly after our dinner together, CC commented in an email that she had been unable to find my blog. I don't ordinarily direct anyone I know to my writings here, because frankly I don't know if I want them to know that much about me. But CC and I had started off with a policy of total honesty so I, or maybe that scoundrel Evan Williams, sent her a link to Dirigonzo's Place.
And you know what, friends and neighbors - I haven't heard from her since. The thing I'll miss most is her laugh.
Here's (a much younger) Billy Joel to tell you about "Honesty":