I never used to pay much attention to the obituary section of the newspaper; just a quick glance to see if I recognized any names and then on to the next section. Recently though that has changed and I find myself spending more time with the section, sometimes reading the entire obituary of a dearly departed that I had never even heard of before.
Now when I get to that section of the paper there are some things I look for: familiar names, of course (happily there have been very few of these), people from the area where I live (so I can see if I know any of their survivors), and people my age or younger. Sad to say this last group seems to appear with increasing frequency but I guess that's only natural since with every year that passes the group gets larger (and older).
If I am moved to read a particular obituary one of the things I look for, especially when the decedent was "young" (which I loosely define as under 90 or so) is the cause of death. Sometimes it's specified ("as a result of a tragic accident", "after a long and courageous battle with cancer (usually)", or "after a period of declining health" are all common descriptions) but often there is no indication at all. It's none of my business of course, but I still have a morbid curiousity about what led to their final demise. Occasionally the explanation can be found in a related news story but this is rare and especially tragic, I think. One line that always gives me a chuckle is when someone over the age of 90 or so is said to have "died unexpectedly". I mean, how much of a surprise could it have been?!
Of course each notice is unique but there are some common phrases that seem to appear in many obituaries. "Surrounded by loving family" is one that I think is nice - it seems a shame to be alone when death comes. I was not present when either of my parents passed and I've always regretted that; I was close by and had been with them shortly before their final passage, so maybe they waited until I wasn't there to leave so I wouldn't have to witness their departure (that sounds like something both of them would do.) Still, I wish I had been there to hold their hand and say goodbye.
I've already mentioned another recurring phrase, "after a long and courageous battle with..." I know there are people who have debilitating terminal diseases who nevertheless show great courage and strength in the face of their condition and they are a source of pride and inspiration to all who know them. Let it be known here and now that I am not such a person. If I have such an illness I will live well for as long as I am able, but when the pain and physical/mental infirmities set in I want drugs, and lots of them. There will be no "long and courageous battle" for me, and my obituary should not say otherwise! When my time comes (hopefully much later rather than sooner) all I hope for is for it to be relatively pain free and sufficiently quick so as not to impose a burden, emotional, financial or otherwise, on my loved ones. Which reminds me, I have to make sure my "Living Will" is in order and I suggest that anyone reading this do the same.
So yes, the obituaries have become a "must read" section for me because I have reached a stage of life where I realize that one's death is not as important as how one is remembered, and that is what the obituaries tell us.
As for my own, I hope it's something like, "...died just a week shy of his 101st birthday as a result of being shot by a jealous husband."
Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Decision Points
You're probably thinking that this has something to do with Dubya's recently released book by the same title, and you could not be further from the truth. In fact this has nothing to do with George W. Bush, his book, or his presidency - although I do have some thoughts on all of the above, they will have to wait for another post.
No, this essay has to do with the decisions that we all make that wind up affecting the rest of our lives in ways that we would never have predicted. Even decisions regarding seemingly small things can have a disproportionate influence - who hasn't heard stories about someone who changed their regular plans only to avert some disaster that would otherwise have befallen them? But things like that may get chalked up as blind luck, or kismet, or whatever, and that's not really what I have in mind.
I'm talking about conscious decisions that we make that we know will alter the rest of our lives but the scenario plays out in a way that is totally different than we had anticipated. Let me illustrate with an example of a deliberate decision I made that went in a whole different direction than I had intended (but it worked out anyway, as you'll see.)
I was a senior in college in 1967 and like many college seniors then and now I didn't have a clue what I was going to do after graduation. I had kind of lost my enthusiasm for continuing on to law school, and my degree in Political Science didn't really prepare me for a lucrative job in the "real world" so I was sort of in a quandry. There was only one thing of which I could be certain: that soon after I graduated I would receive "Greetings" from my local draft board. This was not something that a young man looked forward to in 1967. So I undertook a plan to avoid the dreaded letter from SSS and to take fate into my own hands. Anyone who thinks they can take fate into their own hands, I soon learned, is seriously deluded. But hey, I was 21 and one semester away from graduation so it was time to take charge of my own destiny, right? Wrong, as it turns out.
So I considered the one thing which I considered to be a sure bet , i.e. I was going to be drafted into the Army to fight in Viet Nam if I didn't do something, and I began to look for alternatives to that fate. To be clear, I was not opposed to serving in the armed services - I had even been appointed to attend the U.S. Naval Academy a few years earlier but fate (in the guise of poor eyesight) foreclosed that option. What I was opposed to was being drafted into the Army and getting my ass shot in some far-away land. If I was going to go into military service I thought I should at least do it on my own terms and in a way that would optimize my chances of actually surviving the experience.
I considered several options - Naval Aviation was my preferred avenue, but again my eyes disqualified me from consideration. So I talked with recruiters, I read brochures, and I tried to learn all I could about "job opportunities" in the armed services so I could pick the one that was best for me. Because remember, the one thing of which I could be sure was that one way or another, I was going to land in the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. So after much research, hand-wringing, discussion, interviews, and possibly a few beers, I opted to become a Counter-Intelligence Special Agent in Military Intelligence (insert "oxymoron" joke here). So I signed the papers and my fate was sealed - this was just before the semester break and the Christmas season was upon us. This timing, as it turned out, was critical to the way events developed from there on.
The Army Induction Center in Bangor, where physical exams of prospective draftees and enlistees were administered, was a busy place in the late sixties - except, that is, between Christmas and New Year's, which is when MY pre-induction physical was scheduled. In a facility where on a normal day dozens of potential inductees would be processed, there were, I think, three of us to be evaluated on that particular day. One I remember to be a gung-ho volunteer who wanted to join the Marines, the other I don't remember at all (maybe there was no other); and then there was me, just trying to get a step ahead of the Draft Board. The only other ones I remember to be there that day were a Medical Officer and an Orderly who made notes on the medical "jacket" that he had for each of us.
And so we, the three (or maybe two) of us were subjected to all of the usual physical examination procedures, with the Orderly dutifully making notes of the results. At the end of the process the Medical Officer told me that the tests had revealed a heart murmer, and upon hearing that pronouncement the Orderly wrote on the face of my medical jacket, I swear this is true, 4F which is military jargon for "unfit to serve". This, my friends, was considered by my contemporaries, to be the equivalent of winning the Lottery. On a normal day at the Induction Center I would have been sent out the back door before I could get my shirt buttoned up. But, and here's where fate comes in, it was a very slow day and the Medical Officer had time on his hands, so he sent me off to a heart specialist for further evaluation. And of course the specialist concluded, after doing further testing, that my heart murmer was "innocent" and so posed no obstacle to military service - I distinctly remember that he delivered this conclusion to me as "good news" as he apparently was operating under the misconception that I actually wanted to join up! And so I went back to the induction center with the report in hand, and the Medical Officer after reviewing test results announced that I was qualifed to serve after all, and the Orderly crossed thru my coveted 4F (with a pencil, for God sake!) and wrote next to it "1A" - and you know what that means. Oh, to add to the irony, the gung-ho Marine volunteer didn't make the grade and was sent home - the fates have a strange sense of humor.
So the irony here is, had I done nothing and just waited for my Draft Notice, I would have been processed on a regular day, found to be 4F and sent home. In fact, I might not have even had to go for my physical - my cousin who has the same congenital heart murmer that I have got a letter from his doctor to that effect and he was disqualified from the draft without further processing. But I, who only wanted to get my life in order and maybe live to tell about it, wound up on active duty in Military Intelligence. And you know what? Every time I saw my medical jacket, there on the front, in big letters with a little line through iit, was my winning lottery number: 4F.
Of course it all worked out for the best - things usually do. But I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had just waited for my "Greetings" from the Selective Service Board. That's a "decision point" that definitely changed my life in unexpected (not necessarily bad) ways. My cousin, the one who avoided the draft with a letter from his doctor, came to a very tragic end a few years ago so I guess we can never know how things will turn out in the long run. As for me, well it's been a long strange trip, as the Grateful Dead so famously sang, but I'm glad that I made that decision back in 1967 - I take pride in my military service and it put me on a career path that ultimately turned out pretty well for me.
So that's my story about decision points. I'm not sure what the moral is, or even if there is one. Maybe we have some degree of control over our destinies or maybe "que sera, sera". I don't have the answer to that. So I guess I'll just keep on doing the best I can and accept whatever comes along, because although I don't know if I can control fate, I'm dead-certain that I can't change where it has landed me. Like the bumper sticker says. "Everybody needs something to believe in - I believe I'll have another beer!"
No, this essay has to do with the decisions that we all make that wind up affecting the rest of our lives in ways that we would never have predicted. Even decisions regarding seemingly small things can have a disproportionate influence - who hasn't heard stories about someone who changed their regular plans only to avert some disaster that would otherwise have befallen them? But things like that may get chalked up as blind luck, or kismet, or whatever, and that's not really what I have in mind.
I'm talking about conscious decisions that we make that we know will alter the rest of our lives but the scenario plays out in a way that is totally different than we had anticipated. Let me illustrate with an example of a deliberate decision I made that went in a whole different direction than I had intended (but it worked out anyway, as you'll see.)
I was a senior in college in 1967 and like many college seniors then and now I didn't have a clue what I was going to do after graduation. I had kind of lost my enthusiasm for continuing on to law school, and my degree in Political Science didn't really prepare me for a lucrative job in the "real world" so I was sort of in a quandry. There was only one thing of which I could be certain: that soon after I graduated I would receive "Greetings" from my local draft board. This was not something that a young man looked forward to in 1967. So I undertook a plan to avoid the dreaded letter from SSS and to take fate into my own hands. Anyone who thinks they can take fate into their own hands, I soon learned, is seriously deluded. But hey, I was 21 and one semester away from graduation so it was time to take charge of my own destiny, right? Wrong, as it turns out.
So I considered the one thing which I considered to be a sure bet , i.e. I was going to be drafted into the Army to fight in Viet Nam if I didn't do something, and I began to look for alternatives to that fate. To be clear, I was not opposed to serving in the armed services - I had even been appointed to attend the U.S. Naval Academy a few years earlier but fate (in the guise of poor eyesight) foreclosed that option. What I was opposed to was being drafted into the Army and getting my ass shot in some far-away land. If I was going to go into military service I thought I should at least do it on my own terms and in a way that would optimize my chances of actually surviving the experience.
I considered several options - Naval Aviation was my preferred avenue, but again my eyes disqualified me from consideration. So I talked with recruiters, I read brochures, and I tried to learn all I could about "job opportunities" in the armed services so I could pick the one that was best for me. Because remember, the one thing of which I could be sure was that one way or another, I was going to land in the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. So after much research, hand-wringing, discussion, interviews, and possibly a few beers, I opted to become a Counter-Intelligence Special Agent in Military Intelligence (insert "oxymoron" joke here). So I signed the papers and my fate was sealed - this was just before the semester break and the Christmas season was upon us. This timing, as it turned out, was critical to the way events developed from there on.
The Army Induction Center in Bangor, where physical exams of prospective draftees and enlistees were administered, was a busy place in the late sixties - except, that is, between Christmas and New Year's, which is when MY pre-induction physical was scheduled. In a facility where on a normal day dozens of potential inductees would be processed, there were, I think, three of us to be evaluated on that particular day. One I remember to be a gung-ho volunteer who wanted to join the Marines, the other I don't remember at all (maybe there was no other); and then there was me, just trying to get a step ahead of the Draft Board. The only other ones I remember to be there that day were a Medical Officer and an Orderly who made notes on the medical "jacket" that he had for each of us.
And so we, the three (or maybe two) of us were subjected to all of the usual physical examination procedures, with the Orderly dutifully making notes of the results. At the end of the process the Medical Officer told me that the tests had revealed a heart murmer, and upon hearing that pronouncement the Orderly wrote on the face of my medical jacket, I swear this is true, 4F which is military jargon for "unfit to serve". This, my friends, was considered by my contemporaries, to be the equivalent of winning the Lottery. On a normal day at the Induction Center I would have been sent out the back door before I could get my shirt buttoned up. But, and here's where fate comes in, it was a very slow day and the Medical Officer had time on his hands, so he sent me off to a heart specialist for further evaluation. And of course the specialist concluded, after doing further testing, that my heart murmer was "innocent" and so posed no obstacle to military service - I distinctly remember that he delivered this conclusion to me as "good news" as he apparently was operating under the misconception that I actually wanted to join up! And so I went back to the induction center with the report in hand, and the Medical Officer after reviewing test results announced that I was qualifed to serve after all, and the Orderly crossed thru my coveted 4F (with a pencil, for God sake!) and wrote next to it "1A" - and you know what that means. Oh, to add to the irony, the gung-ho Marine volunteer didn't make the grade and was sent home - the fates have a strange sense of humor.
So the irony here is, had I done nothing and just waited for my Draft Notice, I would have been processed on a regular day, found to be 4F and sent home. In fact, I might not have even had to go for my physical - my cousin who has the same congenital heart murmer that I have got a letter from his doctor to that effect and he was disqualified from the draft without further processing. But I, who only wanted to get my life in order and maybe live to tell about it, wound up on active duty in Military Intelligence. And you know what? Every time I saw my medical jacket, there on the front, in big letters with a little line through iit, was my winning lottery number: 4F.
Of course it all worked out for the best - things usually do. But I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had just waited for my "Greetings" from the Selective Service Board. That's a "decision point" that definitely changed my life in unexpected (not necessarily bad) ways. My cousin, the one who avoided the draft with a letter from his doctor, came to a very tragic end a few years ago so I guess we can never know how things will turn out in the long run. As for me, well it's been a long strange trip, as the Grateful Dead so famously sang, but I'm glad that I made that decision back in 1967 - I take pride in my military service and it put me on a career path that ultimately turned out pretty well for me.
So that's my story about decision points. I'm not sure what the moral is, or even if there is one. Maybe we have some degree of control over our destinies or maybe "que sera, sera". I don't have the answer to that. So I guess I'll just keep on doing the best I can and accept whatever comes along, because although I don't know if I can control fate, I'm dead-certain that I can't change where it has landed me. Like the bumper sticker says. "Everybody needs something to believe in - I believe I'll have another beer!"
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Veterans Day
If you've ever visitied my website Dirigonzo Speaks you know I "support our troops" which of course includes veterans. So I guess you won't be too surprised when I say that I am disappointed that Veterans Day has become what I term "half a holiday". It's an official federal holiday so most government offices are closed and of course there's no mail delivery, but other than that it's pretty much "business as usual" for the American public. Public schools are closed, I think, but frankly I'd rather they stayed open and held an assembly to mark the occasion - somehow I think that would be more meaningful for kids than having the day off without understanding why. Maybe some banks are closed, too, but with ATMs and on-line banking, who cares? For most businesses Veterans Day is a good reason to have a sale; celebrate by shopping - what could be more patriotic?!
I checked the local papers this morning and there are a few observances scheduled in the area, mostly sponsored by veterans' groups like the American Legion and VFW and I guess that's fitting, but wouldn't it be nice if there were more widely observed activities promoted by non-veterans? I was surprised to see that the Freeport Flag Ladies haven't scheduled anything to mark the day - I just checked their website to make sure and nope, nothing going on today. I don't mean to be critical of the FFL - they do way more than most to support troops and veterans - but if even they don't do something to say "thank you for your service" who will? Maybe you?
Memorial Day is a time to commemorate those who gave their lives in defense of our nation and our way of life. Veterans Day is an opportunity to say "Thank you - we appreciate your service and sacrifice on our behalf" to ALL vets and future vets. Everybody who served or is still serving gave some part of their life to secure freedom for all of us. Their families sacrificed too, by having a loved one away or by supporting them in countless ways, and we should appreciate their contributions also.
I'm not asking for individual recognition here - certainly not for myself and not for any other particular veteran. But I do think that *veterans* as a group deserve more appreciation than is afforded by today's "half a holiday". And I'm not asking for parades and ceremonies with military bands and public speeches by local dignitaries, although those are always fun; I'm asking YOU to take a minute to remember why we have Veterans Day and maybe ask yourself, "how can I, in some small way, show my appreciation to the men and women who have served in the armed forces?" And then do it. Maybe you'll put your flag out (it's not too late as I write), or maybe you'll write a letter to your elected representatives to ask them to support veterans' benefits when they come up for a vote. Or maybe you'll just thank a veteran for his or her service - time is growing short to do this for WW II vets and I know they would love to hear it from you.
If you are just completely stuck for a way to "support our troops" go to my website https://sites.google.com/site/dirigonzospeaks/ and you'll find links to dozens of organizations that would love to hear from you and have your support. Tell them Dirigonzo sent you.
And now I think I'll go to Applebee's and get my free dinner.
I checked the local papers this morning and there are a few observances scheduled in the area, mostly sponsored by veterans' groups like the American Legion and VFW and I guess that's fitting, but wouldn't it be nice if there were more widely observed activities promoted by non-veterans? I was surprised to see that the Freeport Flag Ladies haven't scheduled anything to mark the day - I just checked their website to make sure and nope, nothing going on today. I don't mean to be critical of the FFL - they do way more than most to support troops and veterans - but if even they don't do something to say "thank you for your service" who will? Maybe you?
Memorial Day is a time to commemorate those who gave their lives in defense of our nation and our way of life. Veterans Day is an opportunity to say "Thank you - we appreciate your service and sacrifice on our behalf" to ALL vets and future vets. Everybody who served or is still serving gave some part of their life to secure freedom for all of us. Their families sacrificed too, by having a loved one away or by supporting them in countless ways, and we should appreciate their contributions also.
I'm not asking for individual recognition here - certainly not for myself and not for any other particular veteran. But I do think that *veterans* as a group deserve more appreciation than is afforded by today's "half a holiday". And I'm not asking for parades and ceremonies with military bands and public speeches by local dignitaries, although those are always fun; I'm asking YOU to take a minute to remember why we have Veterans Day and maybe ask yourself, "how can I, in some small way, show my appreciation to the men and women who have served in the armed forces?" And then do it. Maybe you'll put your flag out (it's not too late as I write), or maybe you'll write a letter to your elected representatives to ask them to support veterans' benefits when they come up for a vote. Or maybe you'll just thank a veteran for his or her service - time is growing short to do this for WW II vets and I know they would love to hear it from you.
If you are just completely stuck for a way to "support our troops" go to my website https://sites.google.com/site/dirigonzospeaks/ and you'll find links to dozens of organizations that would love to hear from you and have your support. Tell them Dirigonzo sent you.
And now I think I'll go to Applebee's and get my free dinner.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sailing
There is a saying among sailors, "If there are two sailboats within sight of one another and headed in the same general direction, at least one of them is racing." I'm a pretty leisurely sailor but even I have trimmed sail to gain a little speed when it seemed possible to outdistance a nearby vessel - it's a sailor's nature, I guess. But more often than not I would be the one not racing. To me just being on the water with the sun on my face and the wind in my hair is reason enough to sail; I don't need to be going faster than the other boat (usually).
Sailing is like any other activity - everyone participates for their own reasons and with varying degrees of passion and enthusiasm. I have lots of friends and acquaintances who are sailors and I've observed over the years that they can generally be divided into a few categories based solely on their approach to sailing, and that their sailing category pretty much translates into how they approach life in general.
First, there are the voyagers. To them, sailing is a way of life, their raison d'etre. They sail the oceans from port to port, country to country, just for the adventure. Their life is sailing and sailing is their life. If they were not sailors they would be explorers venturing into the unknown or mountain climbers seeking new heights. Voyagers, on the seas or on the shore, need to extend their horizons, seek new experiences and ,you know, "boldly go where no man has gone before." True voyagers are a rare breed but occasionally you will encounter one in a local anchorage. The late Dodge Morgan was a voyager who spent his later years living and cruising on the Maine coast and many local sailors were privileged to meet him.
The next category I call "cruisers". Cruisers get on the water as often as they can, and they usually have a destination and a deadline to get there and back. They have jobs and responsibilities that demand most of their time and attention and sailing is their "escape" from the pressures of every day life. Cruisers may spend as much, or more, time in the planning and preparations for their journey as on the actual trip. The trip may encompass a weekend or a month, it may be a short sail to a nearby anchorage or a cruise downeast, but invariably there is a set departure date and a set return date and if the weather sucks the whole time, well that's too bad. Cruisers, like most of the rest of us, are subject to the whims of nature. And then they go back to their "real" lives.
Racers need almost no explanation. They want to go faster then everybody else - on the water, anyway. Everything they do is intended to gain a competitive edge. Equipment, tuning, tactics - these all factor into the racer's approach to sailing. They want to get the most speed out of themselves, the boat and the crew. For the racer every outing is a competition - against a fleet of boats in a regatta, against the unsuspecting cruiser off the port bow, or against his own fastest time on the same course. Racers love to sail and they love to compete. And maybe, from time to time, every sailor is a racer, because, "I'll bet if I trim the sails a little, I can beat that boat to the next buoy..."
There's another category that I almost hesitate to mention because it seems, well , unkind - but they are part of the sailing community so I guess I have to include them. Let's call them, for lack of a better term, "Dockers". Dockers tend to have large, expensive boats that never seem to leave the dock. The owners (I hesitate to call them sailors) if they are on the boat at all are usually seated in the cockpit, relaxing with a beverage; they are often not apparent on the vessel at all, and I suspect they spend most of their "sailing" time at the yacht club bar, relaxing with a beverage. Sometimes I wonder why "dockers" have boats at all, but I'm sure they have their reasons; I'm also sure that it's none of my business.
And finally, there are the "day sailors". I'm a day sailor. We get out on the water at every opportunity in any kind of vessel that floats. Being on the water, sailing - that's our objective. Where we go or how long it takes to get there is not important. We may set out with a destination in mind, but if time and tide keep us from getting there, no problem - we'll make it another day. You may say day sailors have no goals - I say we're flexible. If I am on the water, I am happy; if I can get to a new destination it may add to my enjoyment but if I don't make it, it won't ruin my day. Some days, most days, when I drop my mooring I don't even know in what direction I'll head - it depends on the wind, and my mood, and maybe who I have for a crew. Some of my fondest memories are of sailing to places that had not even occurred to me when I set out, or sailing to no particular place at all - just going where the prevailing winds dictated on that particular day. It's being on the water - sailing - that is our passion; not adventure, not destinations, not speed, and certainly not staying dockside! It doesn't matter if the outing lasts an hour, a day, or a month, day sailors are happy for the ride, wherever it takes them - even it that's nowhere at all!
Is sailing just a metaphor for life? I don't know, maybe. But I do know that how a person approaches sailing tells you a lot about how she or he approaches life. So if someone invites you to go for a sail (metaphorically speaking), ask yourself, "What kind of sailor is this?"
Sailing is like any other activity - everyone participates for their own reasons and with varying degrees of passion and enthusiasm. I have lots of friends and acquaintances who are sailors and I've observed over the years that they can generally be divided into a few categories based solely on their approach to sailing, and that their sailing category pretty much translates into how they approach life in general.
First, there are the voyagers. To them, sailing is a way of life, their raison d'etre. They sail the oceans from port to port, country to country, just for the adventure. Their life is sailing and sailing is their life. If they were not sailors they would be explorers venturing into the unknown or mountain climbers seeking new heights. Voyagers, on the seas or on the shore, need to extend their horizons, seek new experiences and ,you know, "boldly go where no man has gone before." True voyagers are a rare breed but occasionally you will encounter one in a local anchorage. The late Dodge Morgan was a voyager who spent his later years living and cruising on the Maine coast and many local sailors were privileged to meet him.
The next category I call "cruisers". Cruisers get on the water as often as they can, and they usually have a destination and a deadline to get there and back. They have jobs and responsibilities that demand most of their time and attention and sailing is their "escape" from the pressures of every day life. Cruisers may spend as much, or more, time in the planning and preparations for their journey as on the actual trip. The trip may encompass a weekend or a month, it may be a short sail to a nearby anchorage or a cruise downeast, but invariably there is a set departure date and a set return date and if the weather sucks the whole time, well that's too bad. Cruisers, like most of the rest of us, are subject to the whims of nature. And then they go back to their "real" lives.
Racers need almost no explanation. They want to go faster then everybody else - on the water, anyway. Everything they do is intended to gain a competitive edge. Equipment, tuning, tactics - these all factor into the racer's approach to sailing. They want to get the most speed out of themselves, the boat and the crew. For the racer every outing is a competition - against a fleet of boats in a regatta, against the unsuspecting cruiser off the port bow, or against his own fastest time on the same course. Racers love to sail and they love to compete. And maybe, from time to time, every sailor is a racer, because, "I'll bet if I trim the sails a little, I can beat that boat to the next buoy..."
There's another category that I almost hesitate to mention because it seems, well , unkind - but they are part of the sailing community so I guess I have to include them. Let's call them, for lack of a better term, "Dockers". Dockers tend to have large, expensive boats that never seem to leave the dock. The owners (I hesitate to call them sailors) if they are on the boat at all are usually seated in the cockpit, relaxing with a beverage; they are often not apparent on the vessel at all, and I suspect they spend most of their "sailing" time at the yacht club bar, relaxing with a beverage. Sometimes I wonder why "dockers" have boats at all, but I'm sure they have their reasons; I'm also sure that it's none of my business.
And finally, there are the "day sailors". I'm a day sailor. We get out on the water at every opportunity in any kind of vessel that floats. Being on the water, sailing - that's our objective. Where we go or how long it takes to get there is not important. We may set out with a destination in mind, but if time and tide keep us from getting there, no problem - we'll make it another day. You may say day sailors have no goals - I say we're flexible. If I am on the water, I am happy; if I can get to a new destination it may add to my enjoyment but if I don't make it, it won't ruin my day. Some days, most days, when I drop my mooring I don't even know in what direction I'll head - it depends on the wind, and my mood, and maybe who I have for a crew. Some of my fondest memories are of sailing to places that had not even occurred to me when I set out, or sailing to no particular place at all - just going where the prevailing winds dictated on that particular day. It's being on the water - sailing - that is our passion; not adventure, not destinations, not speed, and certainly not staying dockside! It doesn't matter if the outing lasts an hour, a day, or a month, day sailors are happy for the ride, wherever it takes them - even it that's nowhere at all!
Is sailing just a metaphor for life? I don't know, maybe. But I do know that how a person approaches sailing tells you a lot about how she or he approaches life. So if someone invites you to go for a sail (metaphorically speaking), ask yourself, "What kind of sailor is this?"
Monday, October 18, 2010
"Good Enough for Who It's for"
Years ago, four of us went to the Virgin Islands on a bare-boat vacation. We chartered a 33 foot sailboat out of St. Thomas and spent a week going from island to island, living on the boat and going ashore when we thought there would be something of interest (usually a bar.) One such place was on St. John Island, a little establishment called Redbeard's Saloon.
To get to Redbeard's by boat, we sailed into a long cove in the middle of the southern shore; we had to anchor quite a way off because it's very shallow as you get closer in to shore. So there's a long row to a little dock, and then an even longer walk up a fairly steep hill to get to the tavern. There is a road that lets travellers coming from the posh resort hotels on the north shore drive up, but where's the fun in that?
Once at the top of the hill you discover Redbeard's - it's the only building there, and not much of a building at that. I don't remember the details, but I think "rustic" might be a little generous in describing the accommodations. The cooking, as I recall, was all done on a barbeque pit out back and I'm pretty sure there was a generator to keep the beer cold. That was pretty much it, except of course for the people there, who were wonderfully generous and pleasant to be around. It just felt good to be there. Oh, and the view from the top of the hill - wow!
It's important, I think, when you happen upon a place like Redbeard's that you take home a souvenir to help you relive the good times back home, when you're snowed in and wondering why you came back home to begin with. And of course, Redbeard's had all kinds of suitable items for sale just for this purpose. I love T-shirts, so that's what I picked out. It was kind of a salmon color with the Redbeard's logo, under which it said: "Redbeard's Saloon, St. John, USVI - Good Enough for Who It's for."
I knew exactly what that slogan meant, what it was really saying: there are tourists who would go there, take one look around and declare the place a dump, and leave (they probably drove there); and then there are tourists like us - a motley crew if ever there was one - who take great joy in finding a simple out of the way place where the proprietors are friendly, the beer is cold, and the view is spactacular. Good enough for who it's for - good enough for us!
There are lots of great place to go when your cruising in the Virgins and we went to a lot of them. I'm not even sure that Redbeard's was our clear favorite at the end of the trip, but I am sure I will never forget it, because it didn't try or pretend to be something it wasn't, it just tried to be "good enough for who it's for," and I think there's a lot to be said for that. I heard a few years ago that Redbeard's had closed and that made me a little sad, not because I thought I'd ever go back but because I think that any place "good enough for who it's for" should be successful for as long as it wants to be. I just hope it wasn't replaced by a mega-mansion or luxury hotel built to cater to "those other people" for whom Redbeard's wasn't good enough.
So if everything you have or do is good enough for who it's for, then you're probably a pretty happy camper - I know I am. I guess it's just another way of saying that being content with what you have is the key to happiness, and I truly believe that.
And if you ever happen to find yourself on St. John, USVI, please walk up that hill and take a look around to see what's there now. Whatever it is, I hope it's good enough...
Just did a little googling and got some updated info on Redbeard's - apparently a new place with the same name opened at another location on St. John. It sounds a little more - what's the word I want? - upscale, that's it, than the original. But here's the word on how the end came to the real Redbeard's Saloon (it seems kind of appropriate):
Joe Jackson May 14th, 2007 06:53
A couple of facts for the uninformed. Redbeards was Ted Johnson’s bar out where Skinny’s is now. It’s posted motto was ‘GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO IT’S FOR’. Ted used a chainsaw to dismantle the old place when he was leaving. I understand he’ll be doing some guest bartender gigs when it opens. It’s Wally from Larry’s that’s opening it… I wish him all the best.
Here's a link to see what the "new" Redbeard's Saloon was like:http://www.on-stjohn.com/2007/05/10/redbeard%E2%80%99s-returns/comment-page-1/
I'm pretty sure the "ambience" wasn't exactly the same, but it was probably good enough for a different crowd. I'm pretty sure that if my crew and I had showed up at the new place, they would have thrown us out - it sounds like the kind of place we would have avoided anyway.
To get to Redbeard's by boat, we sailed into a long cove in the middle of the southern shore; we had to anchor quite a way off because it's very shallow as you get closer in to shore. So there's a long row to a little dock, and then an even longer walk up a fairly steep hill to get to the tavern. There is a road that lets travellers coming from the posh resort hotels on the north shore drive up, but where's the fun in that?
Once at the top of the hill you discover Redbeard's - it's the only building there, and not much of a building at that. I don't remember the details, but I think "rustic" might be a little generous in describing the accommodations. The cooking, as I recall, was all done on a barbeque pit out back and I'm pretty sure there was a generator to keep the beer cold. That was pretty much it, except of course for the people there, who were wonderfully generous and pleasant to be around. It just felt good to be there. Oh, and the view from the top of the hill - wow!
It's important, I think, when you happen upon a place like Redbeard's that you take home a souvenir to help you relive the good times back home, when you're snowed in and wondering why you came back home to begin with. And of course, Redbeard's had all kinds of suitable items for sale just for this purpose. I love T-shirts, so that's what I picked out. It was kind of a salmon color with the Redbeard's logo, under which it said: "Redbeard's Saloon, St. John, USVI - Good Enough for Who It's for."
I knew exactly what that slogan meant, what it was really saying: there are tourists who would go there, take one look around and declare the place a dump, and leave (they probably drove there); and then there are tourists like us - a motley crew if ever there was one - who take great joy in finding a simple out of the way place where the proprietors are friendly, the beer is cold, and the view is spactacular. Good enough for who it's for - good enough for us!
There are lots of great place to go when your cruising in the Virgins and we went to a lot of them. I'm not even sure that Redbeard's was our clear favorite at the end of the trip, but I am sure I will never forget it, because it didn't try or pretend to be something it wasn't, it just tried to be "good enough for who it's for," and I think there's a lot to be said for that. I heard a few years ago that Redbeard's had closed and that made me a little sad, not because I thought I'd ever go back but because I think that any place "good enough for who it's for" should be successful for as long as it wants to be. I just hope it wasn't replaced by a mega-mansion or luxury hotel built to cater to "those other people" for whom Redbeard's wasn't good enough.
So if everything you have or do is good enough for who it's for, then you're probably a pretty happy camper - I know I am. I guess it's just another way of saying that being content with what you have is the key to happiness, and I truly believe that.
And if you ever happen to find yourself on St. John, USVI, please walk up that hill and take a look around to see what's there now. Whatever it is, I hope it's good enough...
Just did a little googling and got some updated info on Redbeard's - apparently a new place with the same name opened at another location on St. John. It sounds a little more - what's the word I want? - upscale, that's it, than the original. But here's the word on how the end came to the real Redbeard's Saloon (it seems kind of appropriate):
Joe Jackson May 14th, 2007 06:53
A couple of facts for the uninformed. Redbeards was Ted Johnson’s bar out where Skinny’s is now. It’s posted motto was ‘GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHO IT’S FOR’. Ted used a chainsaw to dismantle the old place when he was leaving. I understand he’ll be doing some guest bartender gigs when it opens. It’s Wally from Larry’s that’s opening it… I wish him all the best.
Here's a link to see what the "new" Redbeard's Saloon was like:http://www.on-stjohn.com/2007/05/10/redbeard%E2%80%99s-returns/comment-page-1/
I'm pretty sure the "ambience" wasn't exactly the same, but it was probably good enough for a different crowd. I'm pretty sure that if my crew and I had showed up at the new place, they would have thrown us out - it sounds like the kind of place we would have avoided anyway.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
10-10-10
Wow, another "binary day" less than a fortnight since the last one. When I last commented on the topic I wasn't focused on the circumstances that produce "digital dates", so I didn't anticipate that another, even more symmetrical, one would present itself so soon. In computer language today's date would read "on/off-on/off-on/off". I have no idea what that means but it seems incomprehensible to me that all digital operations are based on those two conditions: 1("on") and 0("off"). It kind of reminds me of an old joke about worrying about life: it went through a long series of "either-or" scenarios and culminated in the situation of, "so either you live (1), and everything's OK; or you die (0), and you won't care - either way, no worries."
So maybe that's the bottom line, even for an analog kind of guy like me: Every day is a "1" and we should live it to the fullest; or it's a "0" and there's nothing we can do about it. So here's wishing a long and continuous series of "1s" to everyone - come to think of it, 11-11-11 is exactly 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day from today - that sounds like a pretty good omen to me!
And just so you'll be prepared, the other "binanary days" between now and then are: 10-11-10; 11-01-10; 11-10-10; 11-11-10;01-01-11; 01-10-11; 01-11-11; 10-01-11; 10-10-11; 10-11-11; 11-01-11; and 11-11-11.
But every day - binary, analog, whatever - either you live (that's good); or you die ("no worries"). That we will live and then die is predestined, but how we live is up to each of us and defines who we are. And what becomes of us when we die - well, that's a topic for another discussion altogether, isn't it?
So maybe that's the bottom line, even for an analog kind of guy like me: Every day is a "1" and we should live it to the fullest; or it's a "0" and there's nothing we can do about it. So here's wishing a long and continuous series of "1s" to everyone - come to think of it, 11-11-11 is exactly 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day from today - that sounds like a pretty good omen to me!
And just so you'll be prepared, the other "binanary days" between now and then are: 10-11-10; 11-01-10; 11-10-10; 11-11-10;01-01-11; 01-10-11; 01-11-11; 10-01-11; 10-10-11; 10-11-11; 11-01-11; and 11-11-11.
But every day - binary, analog, whatever - either you live (that's good); or you die ("no worries"). That we will live and then die is predestined, but how we live is up to each of us and defines who we are. And what becomes of us when we die - well, that's a topic for another discussion altogether, isn't it?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Today is 10-01-10
It seems like all the techo-geeks get excited when a date consists of all "1"s and "0"s. Apparently it has something to do with "binary language" which I guess is what all computers and other digital devices use. Well, I'm an analogue guy in the digital world so I don't understand any of it. I mean, I have a pretty awesome collection of music dating back years and years, and it's all on cassette tape! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find cassette players nowadays? I do have a few CDs as a concession to the CD player in my truck, but from what I understand they are pretty much obsolete, too. Digital, but obsolete - "MP3" seems to be the way to go now but that's probably being replaced as I write.
I'm not complaining - digital HDTV, smart phones, cars that are smarter than their drivers, etc, etc, etc; I mean what's not to like! Well, OK, maybe I have one small nit to pick. Is it possible that we are spending too much time using binary language and not enough time using human language? I don't text, tweet or spend time on facebook but it seems like everybody else in the modern world does! While they're driving their cars, for Pete's sake. First,what news is so important that it can't wait until you get where you're going to tell it, and second, if it's that important wouldn't it be better delivered in person, or at least by phone (you know, so they can hear the excitement/joy/frustration/sadness/whatever in your voice)?
I'm meeting someone for the first time in a little while. My first impression of her was based on emails exchanged, then we talked on the phone and my impression of her changed remarkably just based on the her voice, choice of phrases, and the humurous spirit I could detect in her speech. Basic human communications stuff I think. And I'm sure my impression will change some more when I meet her in person and I can see her expressions, body language, and (hopefully) the "twinkle" in her eyes. It's called getting to know someone, and I just don't see how that happens in a totally digital world.
So happy 10-01-10 everyone. To celebrate, I'm going out to to have dinner with a real live person, and maybe make a new friend. I hope you'll have a chance to get out of the digital world for a while, too.
I'm not complaining - digital HDTV, smart phones, cars that are smarter than their drivers, etc, etc, etc; I mean what's not to like! Well, OK, maybe I have one small nit to pick. Is it possible that we are spending too much time using binary language and not enough time using human language? I don't text, tweet or spend time on facebook but it seems like everybody else in the modern world does! While they're driving their cars, for Pete's sake. First,what news is so important that it can't wait until you get where you're going to tell it, and second, if it's that important wouldn't it be better delivered in person, or at least by phone (you know, so they can hear the excitement/joy/frustration/sadness/whatever in your voice)?
I'm meeting someone for the first time in a little while. My first impression of her was based on emails exchanged, then we talked on the phone and my impression of her changed remarkably just based on the her voice, choice of phrases, and the humurous spirit I could detect in her speech. Basic human communications stuff I think. And I'm sure my impression will change some more when I meet her in person and I can see her expressions, body language, and (hopefully) the "twinkle" in her eyes. It's called getting to know someone, and I just don't see how that happens in a totally digital world.
So happy 10-01-10 everyone. To celebrate, I'm going out to to have dinner with a real live person, and maybe make a new friend. I hope you'll have a chance to get out of the digital world for a while, too.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
"Pursuit of Happiness"
I live near the coast, so of course I have a boat. Now there's no law that says you HAVE to own a boat if you live by the water, but why WOULDN'T you? Big boat, little dinghy, kayak, canoe, sail, power, whatever - it doesn't matter. All that's important is that you have a way to get out on the bay (or lake, pond, river; whatever floats YOUR boat.)
My boat is an old (1984) 25-foot fisherman built by Pursuit/Tiara/Slickcraft/S2 - all of those labels are somewhere on the vessel. But the big block letters on the aft-quarters when I bought the boat several years ago read "PURSUIT" and I just knew that its new name had to be based on that word. The possibilities seemed endless because "pursuit" can be preceded by lots of words to make a recognizable phrase; to cite a few: In..., Hot...,Leisurely... or Relentless..., and my favorite for a while Trivial Pursuit.
But none of these captured the spirit of why I go boating, and many of them were already being used by other local vessels, so the "pursuit" of a suitable name continued. I'm not exactly sure when "Pursuit of Happiness" popped into my head but I liked it right away; and the more I thought about it the more I liked it, because it works in more than one way. Who doesn't know that it's an inalienable right? And the boat is a "Pursuit" model which brings me "happiness" (remember the "bluebird of happiness" from Rowen and Martin?) And when I am on it I am actively in "pursuit" of "happiness" (figuratively and literally). So it was decided, and with some snazzy red vinyl letters from the local signmaker (to go with the original blue ones already in place) my new boat proudly announced that she is the "Pursuit of Happiness" in all of those respects. And she lives up to her name every time I board her.
I'm writing about this tonight, September 30, because today was my last boating day for this season. Some say Fall is the best time for boating in these parts and they may be right, but it seems like I never get out on the water after Labor Day, despite my best intentions. Usually the boat sits on its mooring unattended and unused until it's too late in the season to go anyway, and I feel bad for not taking it out earlier. So I checked the tide chart and my work schedule and today it all came together as a good day to haul. Good, that is, in every respect except the weather. We had a beautiful Summer with lots and lots of perfect boating days, and even this week there were some really nice "bonus summer days". Today was not one of them: overcast with showers, stiff wind out of the South (at least it was warm), patchy fog - but at least I beat the wind-swept rain that is in the forcast for tonight and tomorrow.
So the weather was pretty miserable even for the short ride up the river to my haul-out site, and the occasion for the trip was certainly not a happy one, but for the couple of hours that I was on "Pursuit of Happiness" this afternoon I was a happy man. And it feels good to have her out of the water early enough to get her cleaned up and covered before the really nasty weather moves in for winter. So it was a good day. And if we should chance to have a really beautiful spell of "Indian Summer", well, I have a friend who still has his boat in the water.
My boat is an old (1984) 25-foot fisherman built by Pursuit/Tiara/Slickcraft/S2 - all of those labels are somewhere on the vessel. But the big block letters on the aft-quarters when I bought the boat several years ago read "PURSUIT" and I just knew that its new name had to be based on that word. The possibilities seemed endless because "pursuit" can be preceded by lots of words to make a recognizable phrase; to cite a few: In..., Hot...,Leisurely... or Relentless..., and my favorite for a while Trivial Pursuit.
But none of these captured the spirit of why I go boating, and many of them were already being used by other local vessels, so the "pursuit" of a suitable name continued. I'm not exactly sure when "Pursuit of Happiness" popped into my head but I liked it right away; and the more I thought about it the more I liked it, because it works in more than one way. Who doesn't know that it's an inalienable right? And the boat is a "Pursuit" model which brings me "happiness" (remember the "bluebird of happiness" from Rowen and Martin?) And when I am on it I am actively in "pursuit" of "happiness" (figuratively and literally). So it was decided, and with some snazzy red vinyl letters from the local signmaker (to go with the original blue ones already in place) my new boat proudly announced that she is the "Pursuit of Happiness" in all of those respects. And she lives up to her name every time I board her.
I'm writing about this tonight, September 30, because today was my last boating day for this season. Some say Fall is the best time for boating in these parts and they may be right, but it seems like I never get out on the water after Labor Day, despite my best intentions. Usually the boat sits on its mooring unattended and unused until it's too late in the season to go anyway, and I feel bad for not taking it out earlier. So I checked the tide chart and my work schedule and today it all came together as a good day to haul. Good, that is, in every respect except the weather. We had a beautiful Summer with lots and lots of perfect boating days, and even this week there were some really nice "bonus summer days". Today was not one of them: overcast with showers, stiff wind out of the South (at least it was warm), patchy fog - but at least I beat the wind-swept rain that is in the forcast for tonight and tomorrow.
So the weather was pretty miserable even for the short ride up the river to my haul-out site, and the occasion for the trip was certainly not a happy one, but for the couple of hours that I was on "Pursuit of Happiness" this afternoon I was a happy man. And it feels good to have her out of the water early enough to get her cleaned up and covered before the really nasty weather moves in for winter. So it was a good day. And if we should chance to have a really beautiful spell of "Indian Summer", well, I have a friend who still has his boat in the water.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Why I'm here
I grew up in a simpler, more innocent time - not better, necessarily, but certainly different from today. Life's lessons, as I learned them, could be capsulized in a few short directives:
-Live and let live;
-Follow the Golden Rule;
-Practice what you preach;
-Take responsibility;
-Don't Sweat the small stuff.
There are more, but it seems to me that if we all just abided by these few simple principles the world would be a better place. Take the first one - today it seems like everybody wants to tell everybody else how to live. Sure, we need laws and standards to prevent criminal acts and totally anti-social behavior but beyond that, if what I am doing doesn't affect you then it's none of your business. And vice-versa, of course.
And the Golden Rule - that's a biggie. I read, and I believe it, that every major religion has some version of it. "Treat other people as you would like them to treat you." That's pretty simple, but imagine what a different world it would be if everybody followed it! Damn, if we all practiced that one, none of the others would be necessary! I know, we are hard-wired to protect our self-interests but imagine how different the world would be if before we did something we asked ourselves the simple question, "Would I want someone to do this to me?"
I know, I know, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and you have to look out for number one, and to the victor go the spoils, etc, etc, but when is enough, enough? How about if we all just chill, kick back and live life in the slow lane for a change? So with that in mind, I'm going to offer up my observations, opinions and comments about life in general. I'm doing this mostly for my own amusement and entertainment but if you would like to follow along, that's fine, and I welcome any contributions, criticisms or critiques you may want to add.
So here we go - let's see where this journey takes us!
-Live and let live;
-Follow the Golden Rule;
-Practice what you preach;
-Take responsibility;
-Don't Sweat the small stuff.
There are more, but it seems to me that if we all just abided by these few simple principles the world would be a better place. Take the first one - today it seems like everybody wants to tell everybody else how to live. Sure, we need laws and standards to prevent criminal acts and totally anti-social behavior but beyond that, if what I am doing doesn't affect you then it's none of your business. And vice-versa, of course.
And the Golden Rule - that's a biggie. I read, and I believe it, that every major religion has some version of it. "Treat other people as you would like them to treat you." That's pretty simple, but imagine what a different world it would be if everybody followed it! Damn, if we all practiced that one, none of the others would be necessary! I know, we are hard-wired to protect our self-interests but imagine how different the world would be if before we did something we asked ourselves the simple question, "Would I want someone to do this to me?"
I know, I know, it's a dog-eat-dog world, and you have to look out for number one, and to the victor go the spoils, etc, etc, but when is enough, enough? How about if we all just chill, kick back and live life in the slow lane for a change? So with that in mind, I'm going to offer up my observations, opinions and comments about life in general. I'm doing this mostly for my own amusement and entertainment but if you would like to follow along, that's fine, and I welcome any contributions, criticisms or critiques you may want to add.
So here we go - let's see where this journey takes us!
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