Friday, October 28, 2011

On turning 65

Question: "What do you call a middle-age woman in a relationship with an older man? Answer: A nurse." (Ouch!)

I'm not sure where I heard or read that recently, but it definitely hit close to home for me. I have a penchant for younger (i.e., middle age) women and now that I am approaching age 65 I feel for the first time that I qualify as an "older man".

I'm thinking about this because recently I attended a seminar on signing up for Medicare (it still hurts to even think about this). There's nothing like the prospect of signing up for mandatory insurance for the elderly to make a person feel OLD.

Last year when I was on the brink of turning 64 I lamented getting older but I didn't feel like I was approaching old age, but that's changed as this birthday approaches. There's something about SIXTY-FIVE that just oozes "old age". It's the age we associate with retirement, collecting Social Security and enrolling in Medicare! That sure sounds like old age to me!

So here I am only 365 days older that I was a year ago, I'm in great health (i.e., no need for a "nurse" yet), I'm as fit as I have ever been and I certainly don't need those ubiquitous little blue pills that are so popular among men my age (and even younger, if the TV ads are to be believed). But even if I don't feel, look or act old, I know that "everyone" (i.e. middle-aged women) will THINK I'm old because I'm 65.

I guess I have some options, at least as far as trying to attract women is concerned. I could limit my interest to women closer to my own age, but that sounds pretty confining - I hate to restrict the possibilities to such a narrow field. I could maintain my current MO and hope to meet someone open-minded enough or desperate enough to have a relationship with a 65 year-old guy. Or, and this is the way I'm leaning, I can start lying about my age. I've been told I don't look any where near my age, so I think I could pull it off. Shave five, maybe ten years off my age and it's a whole new ball game. Of course I'll have to keep my Medicare card out of sight.

That's what is on my mind as I approach my next birthday. There are probably more pressing concerns with which I should be preoccupied, and I'm sure there are more interesting topics that I could write about, but a guy only turns 65 once (unless I wind up in a relationship with someone who thinks I'm 55) and I want to wallow in it.

Know any eligible nurses? I am not ready for my "Golden Years".

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